Quit the Blaming Game

‘Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”  The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Gen 3:12, 13). 

Maturity does not come with age but with acceptance of responsibility, and you can blame others for your past and present but not your future. Instead of acknowledging their sin, taking the shame and repenting, Adam and Eve chose to take the path of blaming others.  ‘Adam’s wickedness and lack of true repentance appears in this that he blamed God because he had given him a wife’ (Matthew Henry). Like Adam, we sometimes go to the extent of blaming even God for our predicaments. ‘The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make A HELPER SUITABLE FOR HIM.” (Genesis 2:18). God’s statement above clearly proves that Eve was the most suitable woman for Adam. The question is ‘where was Adam when the devil was deceiving Eve and what was he supposed to do after Eve ate the forbidden fruit? Definitely, Adam going on to also eat the forbidden fruit wasn’t an act of spiritual leadership in his family, or the solution to the problem. Adam failed to protect and guide his wife, not forgetting his personal involvement in eating the fruit.

‘Instead of acknowledging the sin in its full extent, and taking shame to themselves, Adam and Eve excuse the sin, and lay the shame and blame on others’ (Geneva study Bible). The critical question is what would have happened if Adam and Eve had accepted responsibility for their actions and repented, asking God for forgiveness. Probably the consequences of their sin would have been different.  Until you stop blaming others and acknowledge your personal weakness you can never learn from your mistakes, grow and be more productive. The best way to solve a problem in any relationship is to begin with yourself. Playing the “Blame Game” is poisonous to any relationship, be it in marriage, the church or any circular institution.

Are there some challenges in any group you find yourself in? The best way to solve the problem is by examining yourself. Ask yourself, ‘what can I do different to help the situation?’ There is a common maxim that when you point one finger at someone, three fingers are pointed at you. Jesus said ‘how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye’ (Luke 6:42). Blaming others may be the easiest way to escape shame, but it is certainly not the way to solve problems. Today, quit the blaming game, accept responsibility for your actions, make the necessary personal changes, and will you grow to be a blessing.