Marriage as God Intended

‘Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil’ (Eccl 9:9).

Marriage is the most sacred union God created between a man and a woman. It is the only union that God uses to signify His relationship with the church. After God made Adam, he was blessed with a beautiful garden and a relationship with God. However, there was still a big vacuum in Adam’s life. Adam was alone and he needed a companion and a helper, so God made him a wife (Gen 2:18). There is a need in every human being to be loved and valued, and God created marriage to meet that need. 

Marriage is a package with countless blessings, and Solomon gives very good clues about the value of marriage and the joy it brings. In Songs of Solomon 1:2, he tells his spouse ‘kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine’. He also says that, ‘the man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord’ (Prov 18:22). Here, he describes marriage as a treasure and a blessing from the Lord. The sad reality is that we live in an era where man is trying very hard to redefine marriage apart from God’s intent and plan. The main lesson from this study is the importance of marriage and the God-given family structure.

For a marriage to be enjoyed as God intended it, both the husband and wife need to have a clear understanding of their primary roles. The God-given family structure is that, the Husband should be the head and the wife a helper. Both the husband and wife, play very important and complimentary roles. When two people decide to drive a moving car they are most likely to be involved in an accident, one has to drive whiles the other helps with guidance. The woman’s role as a helper and a mother is very crucial, but the man has the responsibility of leading the family. Husbands are commanded to Love their wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, wives are commanded to submit to their husbands (Eph 5:22-25, Col 3:19). Clearly, Husbands are being taught here, to love their wives to the point of making sacrifices for their sake when need be.

The truth is, it becomes very easy for the wife to submit to the husband, when she is sure about the husband’s love for her. In communication, it is important to note that, anything a husband will hear or accept should be said by the wife in respect, and anything the wife will hear and accept should be said by the husband in love. Love from the husband and respect from the wife are the two wheels that move the bicycle of marriage. In the Garden of Eden man fell because, Adam failed in fulfilling his role as the leader and Eve failed in her role as the helper. When this God-given family structure malfunctions, the society is doomed. 

Are you having challenges in our marriage? Pray to God for wisdom and strength,’ fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife’ (Proverbs 19:14) .The next study is about ‘Dealing with challenges in marriage’.