‘The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I
will make a helper suitable for him.”(Genesis 2:18)
Marriage is God’s perfect union between two imperfect people.
Because of different temperaments, individual weaknesses, and different back
grounds or upbringing, there are bound to be challenges in every marriage. In
times of challenges, many people ask themselves whether they married the wrong
person. That is not usually the case. In Genesis 2:18, God told Adam that,
He will make him ‘a helper suitable
for him’. This underlines the fact that, Eve was the
right person for Adam. However, they needed to work on each other for the
treasures hidden in them to be unveiled. Apart from submission from the wife
and love from the husband discussed in the previous lesson, below are nine
important keys to maintaining and enjoying your marriage.
Be guided by God’s Word and His Spirit: Eph 5:18, 25-31 teaches about a Holy Spirit
guided relationship. The first key to a successful marriage is the guidance of
God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. This is because, the first virtue
needed in a relationship is love or selflessness, and without the empowerment
of the Holy Spirit, selflessness is not possible. The natural man does
not have enough love to love with. Secondly, it takes a great deal of wisdom to
maintain and enjoy marriage, and the Holy Spirit is the one who can give
guidance in all marriage decisions. Also, the Holy Spirit enables the husband
and wife to have Self control when they yield to Him. For your
marriage to work, you need an authority that is higher than the two of you and
your love for each other. That authority is God’s word.
Leave and cleave (be one): Most marriages are destroyed by a third
personality. It can be a parent, a sibling, a friend, money etc (Mark 10:7). God is the only third person in a marriage who can make it work. Apart
from God’s voice, your partners’ voice should be the most important voice you
hear.
Pray together: God blesses where there's unity. The right environment for
answered prayer is one that's free from '...anger or disputing' (1 Tim 2:8).
That's why Satan works so hard to keep husbands and wives at odds with each
other. That way we won't pray together, much less expect our prayers to get God
excited. Peter said when a couple's prayers are hindered, the devil has the key
to the house and he can come and go at will.
Value, Honor and respect each other: ‘If you don't treat [your wife] as you should,
your prayers will not get ready answers' (1 Peter 3:7). Malcolm
Gladwell writes about a relationship expert who was able to predict the
potential success of a couple's marriage based on their interaction with one
another. What was it he looked for that indicated a marriage was headed for
trouble? Contempt! If one treated the other with contempt the relationship was
usually doomed to fail.
Show love and affection: Romans 12:9, 10 teaches that we should not pretend to love but
really love, and that we should love with genuine affection and take delight in
honoring each other.
Be transparent to each other: ‘Adam and his wife were both naked, and they
felt no shame’ (Genesis 2:25),being
naked means being transparent financially, sexual, emotionally etc.
Stay attractive: Esther 2:17 says, 'The king was attracted to Esther more
than to any of the other women, and she won his favor.' She
took the time necessary to prepare herself. Before a girl's turn came to go in
to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatment (Esther
2:12). There are no shortcuts. The price of success is study, preparation and discipline.
Those who pay that price aren't lucky, they're rewarded.
Resolve Conflicts through proper communication: Knowing your spouse and knowing when and how
to resolve your conflicts is the key to a overcoming the conflicts. There is a
need to get help from ministers and professional counselors when problems
persist and threaten the marriage (Proverbs 1:5).
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